Tuesday, January 27, 2009

OT: Sometimes I like spam (Yes, really)

Like most people, I get a moderate amount of spam. Usually annoying, but occasionally I find the subjects amusing and start dreaming up imaginary responses. (Do not ask me why, my sense of humor is just weird that way).

Subject: You Have Won the British Lottery of £x,xxxx,xxx GBP
Response: Wow. So given the economic climate, the current exchange rate, the fact that this is a total scam, how much money are you trying to steal from me?


Subject: Trusting in your urgent reply
Response: My advice, try not to be so gullible. You are bound to be disappointed - a lot.


Subject: I have a problem. Needing your help
Response: Let me guess. You are addicted to spam. You know it is wrong, but you just cannot seem to help yourself.


Subject:
70% off Brand name pharmaceuticals
Response: Sorry. I promised my mother I would never accept pharmaceutical candy from strangers

Subject: Your urgent response needed
Response: Stop spamming me. This instant! Hurry! Hurry!


Subject:
** SPAM** WINNING NOTIFICATION FOR YEAR xxxx
Response: Congratulations. Being selected the top spammer of the year must be quite an honor for you. Your parents must be so proud! (Okay, so maybe that was not the original subject ...but close enough ;-)

Though I do wonder why a large percentage of spam is in capital letters. It is not bad enough they are "spamming" me, they have to shout too? Perhaps they are just excitable people that are a little too in touch with their inner caps lock key.

2 comments:

Chris January 28, 2009 at 4:56 AM  

One thing is obvious... spam works and earns money. Otherwise it would not be done to such an extend. And actually people are used to it. Spam in form of printed ads clutters your house's mailbox often enough. (Not saying this is right, though. Not by any means!)

Regarding the capital letters, my guess is that they just want their email to stand out in your mail box. If their email is the only capitalized one, it will draw the attention of the eye, whether we like it or not. And with unexperienced or new internet users the chance that this creates success may be bigger.

Just guessing though.

cfSearching January 28, 2009 at 8:10 AM  

@Chris,

Yes, printed spam is just as bad. A lot of wasted resources for something few people even notice. Not to mention the recipients now have to dispose of all that junk mail they never requested in the first place ;-)

Most of my comments were in jest. But it is funny how capital letters now have the opposite effect. At least on me. Nobody I know writes in all "caps". So now my first thought on seeing them is "spam alert". I am more likely to hit the delete button, than actually read them.

Statistically, I guess it is not surprising that some small percentage of spam is successful. But some scams are so obvious that I am almost offended on principle. Take some pride in your work! Hmmm... then again, maybe it is better to have lazy and dumb criminals than smart ones ;-)

Leigh

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